Saturday, August 27, 2011

Laziness - A Virtue

It all began like this.


It was there everywhere. On my wallpaper.. on my books.. everywhere..

And then a virtue by the name of Laziness kicked in. Why write/draw so much when just 25% of it looks equally good if not better.



And thus the brand was born.

Its an S with a lambda hanging from it. No its not an A

Thats the history behind my DP

NOW YOU KNOW!!!

Now if only I could think of a name for it. It might give the Nike's and Adidasses of the world a good run for their money.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I Dream of Genie - Reloaded

The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of DM waking up and suddenly remembering where he was.

It wasn't just that this shabby little house was cold, it wasn't just that it was damp and smelly. It was the fact that he had hardly seen anyone in years. Which was a relief in certain ways, as he hadn't been insulted at all in years.

He stepped out of the cottage and then it happened...

Image courtesy Flickr

He could see 2 headlights of some kind of a vehicle approaching. It was an ancient Ford F-350 straight out of Midtown Madness or was it Madtown Midness... too much effort to remember that. It came to a halt right next to him while he stood there in his usual crisis management pose - standing motionless with mouth wide open and eyes popping out letting it (the crisis or anything else that it may turn out to be) wash over him.

Out she stepped, a tall figure silhouted in the early morning sun, and walked towards him.

"You're a jerk, DM," she said in a cold voice that hit him with the full force of every inch of the 200 or so kilometers that lay between Mumbai and Pune.

"W...W...w...w." That was all DM could utter

She frowned briefly and reapeated, "DM, you're a jerk... A complete Asshole" and walked away to her Ford and was off in a flash, while DM was still in his crisis management pose with a tiny little "musca domestica" contemplating whether to explore that vast oesophagal tract belonging to DM.

This morning was sweet and fragrant as he emerged from the ramshackle cottage which he called home until he could think of a better name for it or find a better ramshackle cottage. The breeze flitted lightly around him, the birds were chirping at each other and the whole of nature was conspiring to be as pleasant as it could. But all these pastoral delights still couldn't console DM after that scathing insult.

"I feel like crying... I will go mad like this!!!" shouted DM.

"Good idea!" came a wheezy voice somewhere behind him.

DM's mind somersaulted thrice then flipped over itself for a fourth time. His jaws did a couple of push-ups. "W..w..w... hu... ru... Who's that?" Wheeling around he saw a ugly green couch sitting right in the middle of the slimy lawn of the ramshackle cottage which he temporarily called home until he could think of a better name for it...

He ran towards the couch. It had been a really long while since he had sat down on something softer than a rock. The couch bobbed away from DM. DM felt terrible pleased with himself. Only 2 minutes ago he had claimed he'd go mad and now he was chasing an ugly green couch across his lawn as it meandered in the lawn as if it was following its own complex mathematical or metaphysical topography, which it was. But it wasn't fast enough. DM was gaining on it. And soon it was within reach. DM leapt on it but it disappeared and he fell into nothingness. Falling down and down and down and down... and a little bit more downwards.
And then he stopped falling. There wasn't a sickening crash or a deafening splash that truncated his fall but a confusing phrrrrrrrrrrr as if it was a hippopotamus belching away to glory after having eaten to his heart's and fart's content.

And uske baad.... LAMBIII KHAMOSHI... for a moment nothing happened and for a minute or two after that nothing continued to happen. And there it lay...

A long forgotten dusty lamp. Right out of Sinbad the sailor or was that Aladin.. anyways nursery rhymes and historical crimes were not DM's forte. He simply walked over to the long forgotten dusty lamp trying to remember whether he had forgotten about it or whether someone had forgotten to tell him that they'd forgotten all about their precious old long forgotten lamp. DM tried to wipe off the dirt off the lamp and it started smoking.

Out popped a genie.



Image courtesy google


Not that "I dream of Jeannie" type babe-genie but a tall dark grizzled erie genie that seems to inhabit this type of ugly long forgotten dusty lamps. It said in a reverberating sound slightly more audible than a faint rasp of a sore throat,

"From the dark dank depths of the dinky lamp,
you have set me free.
And to thank thee,
I grant wishes three!!"

Feeling benevolent, DM said "I WANT WORLD PEACE!!!"

Genie thinks for a moment, "World peace is it??"

"Yes"

"Remove the I (Ego) and the WANT (Greed) and thou shalt have thy world peace. "

DM thinks, "Damn this stupid philosophical genie.. he wasted my one wish" and exclaims aloud, "now my second wish.."

Genie: Arre bhai!! recession ka zamaana hai, ek se hi kaam chala lo. Poof!! Genie goes back to his dark dank wretched depths of the dinky lamp living happily ever after.

And then there was that regular early morning yell of horror - the sound of DM waking up and suddenly remembering where he was. The TV set blaring on some news channel. And DM entangled in his bed-sheets with a copy of Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - a trilogy in four parts.

Reposting this post which had earlier been published on N-Zine, the No Nonsense eNtertainmen magaZINE


And for those who are still having trouble guessing where is this picked up from... this one's been adapted from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy - a trilogy in four parts.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Walk

Just yesterday, I walked home from work. Nothing great bout it.. just a 30 min walk. Nahhhh.. aint gonna blabber about the positives of walking and all... no nonsense about reducing pollution.. reducing cholestrol etc. etc. etc. etc. and a bit more etc. etc.etc.

While walking I saw a rotund, plump etc. etc. jogger doing his rounds while listening to his sounds on his I-Pod or something similar.

Felt like taking his full pic and publishing it here with the TITLE

IPODGE

PS: Joke picked up from Ricky Gervais' (one in the pic) numerous takes on fat people
PS2: nah.. I really did walk home from work that was not the joke..

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Oh!! Fish!!

Came across a fish tank (its too small to call an aquarium) It has about 8 to 10 fishes. Fish tanks have always fascinated me. I just love to poke my finger against the glass hoping the fish take notice of my finger and try to follow it. But every time I tried that... No one paid attention. :(

Just then I noticed, there were 2 really really TINY fish.. just hatched.. about a day or so old.. hiding beneath a decorative rock. And their Mommy hanging around them. Chasing other nosy characters away lest they accidently/deliberately swallowed up the young'uns.

Out of habit I ran my finger over the glass.. and ZOOOM.. the Mommy swooped in to chase away another enemy. :)

PS. Wish I could take a pic.. but didnt have the heart to expose the tiny ones to the xenon flash.

PS1. Happy Friendship Day to all!!!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Mouldy

And as promised we are back with Harry Potter and the Kidney stone.. oops.. no no this time its Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. What do I have to say bout it??

Here goes.. from the book itself 
We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the One,
And Voldy's gone mouldy, so now let's have fun!
--- Peeves

And all thanks to David Yates.. Voldy did really go mouldy... with all the bits of mould hanging around you in 3D...eewwwwww

Good movie.. Especially the Prince's Tale.. turned out better than I expected. Though could have better. But I don't want to raise the bar so high that I can't reach the bottles. So let the critique be left to the critics and lets get back to our favourite HP photo!!


And For the Love of Harry Potter, do check this out

Ohh and here's something to ponder about



Rings a bell.. lights a bulb etc. etc..  doesn't it??