Indo-Pak border. Vigorous firing from both sides. The Indians as usual getting the upper hand. One particular soldier by the name of Pawan Kumar Jhonke advances across the border and goes unhindered into Pak territory and comes back unhindered again. HOW??
Simple...
Panchee, Nadiyaan, Pawan K. Jhonke (our soldier)... Koi Sarhadd na inhe roke!!!
Just came across a fellow blogger who posted about aspiring to be a stand-up comedian and trying to go into the record books for the longest running stand-up comedy show... ummm.. may be he's planning to do it sitting down to conserve his stamina but anyways... this friend is trying to do a stand-up (or sit-down) comedy show.. So I thought I'd add a few of my jokes for his benefit. Nah!!! the opening line was not for his benefit, it was for yours. This way, by having you tearing away at your hair, I would be successfully lowering your expectations from this post and so any crap that goes in here gets better marks.
I think that was a secret strategy that many engineering and other students have exploited along with the inherent skill of illegible handwriting and a hanful of hindi film lyrics to the hilt to gain marks from unsuspecting, innocent, poor professors.
One classic case:
Economics exam... short note on law of diminishing marginal utility... Ask the neighbour, "Psst, show me that graph... Cmon.. or you shall face music after the exam." Copying the graph, smirking at the bewildered and scared look on the neighbour's face. Looking at the time... just 2 min to the final bell... the pen moving in a flashed blur over the answer paper... half the answer vomited from memory.. but not enuff... cmon... There's more to this... cmon... damn.. cant remember.. shudn't have kept gallavanting with the girl next door instead of cramming this answer... damn.. the invigilator coming to take away the papers... time for crisis management... and some bollywood lyrics in classic ugly handwriting... Panchee, nadiya, pawan k jhonke - koi sarhadd na inhe roke - sarhadd insaanon ke liye hai... fills the page.. and finishing touches "I and the guy in front of me don't know anything (oops the U in gUy looks like an A... too late... and anyways thats the truth aint it)" Handing over the paper to the invigilator and glancing at the neighbour who had so kindly showed him the diagram... that guy's busy labelling the diagram "NPSH of a Centrifugal pump at STP"
Surprise Surprise!!!
Coming back to the sit-down comedy show... just heard this hilarious joke on a Russel Peter's show. "In India, you'd find a lot of women called Pretty (preety, preeti, preity). Well from their looks you might think their last name was Nasty"
Nah!! I ain't into woman bashing... but here's something for all ye women out there to chew upon...
Lemme repeat.. kindly do not brand me as a misogynist (MCP is passe.. it now stands for microsoft certified professional)
Ok.. ok.. heres one for the ladies:
A man walks up to me.. all excited and flustered... yelling "I've found my Miss. RIGHT"
Few months later, I see him at the bar looking all morose. "Wassup pal?? Something wrong??"
He replies, "Yeah!! The wife!!"
"Why?? some days back you were all ecstatic bout finding Your Miss. RIGHT. Now what??"
"Damn, it was only after marriage that I realised that her first name was ALWAYS!!"
"So, how bad is it?? Are you two always arguing and disagreeing with each other??"
Trying to look resolute and calm, "Oh, no no no. She always agrees with me. Every time we are about to have a fight.. I say: I was wrong.. and she agrees!!"
Ummm.. anyone interested in some Brad Pitt Trivia??
Here's an excerpt from some "pillow talk" between a newly married Brad Pitt and his wife (ex now) Jennifer Anniston
Brad: Jen, you know what I like the most bout being married??
Jennifer(cuddling up to him, thinking something romantic was about to happed): What?
Brad: You know... I can fart in bed whenever and however I want!!!
Jennifer: Eww.. all you men are the same! Why oh Why do men pass gas more than women?
Brad: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. Ha ha ha ha haaah
Let me end this with another classic Calvin comic strip:D
2 comments:
I will come bck n read this post, but u aint displaying 2 more awards...remember that tag post ke sath i gave u?
Hey, nice 'jokes'! Comments' moderation on for this one? Did anyone come back to call you a misogynist? ;)
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