35 Sawaal baad

Have been tagged by NEHA to answer these questions... Mind you haven't had lunch.. so might feast on your brains and other senses if you read this post

1.What is your current obsession ?

PJs and my blog

2. What are you wearing today?

Sydenham T and grey green shorts... with too many pockets

3. What’s for dinner?

Probably going out tonight

4. What’s the last thing you bought?

Lotsa things from Staples... had gone in only for a black printer cartridge (which was out of stock)

5. What are you listening to right now?

Ab Good Knight k saath chaar coil extra (aweful advertising and Rani Mukherjee)

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?

ummmm... ohh... hmmmm... NO COMMENTS... whatever I say is bound to be taken as a joke... so might as well say "HAHAHAHA"... btw.. she doesn't like my sense of humour

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

South Mumbai (Conceited enuff??)

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?

Pankha and of course a glass filled with crushed ice with a large dash of blue curacao with some lemon juice and lil' bit of sugar

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

To get a refil (refer answer 8) or may be one of the places I keep describing in my blog (off the beaten track )

10. Which language do you want to learn?

English is bad enough.. ever wondered how would you use tense if you'd been time travelling?? for instance how would you describe something (in English) that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days just to avoid it. The event will be described differently depending on whether you are talking about it with respect to (W.R.T.) your own natural time, W.R.T. a time in the further future, or W.R.T. a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations whilst you are actually travelling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own father or mother.

11. What’s your favourite quote?

Hedonist to the Core

12. Who do you want to meet right now?

Anyone who would want to bequeath 1 billion dollars to me... any takers??

13. What is your favourite colour?

Blue.. blue denim.. blue sky.. blue curacoa..

14. What is your favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?

Obviously I'm wearing it...How would it be favourite if its in my closet!!!

15. What is your dream job?

President of United States... oh damn.. its going to be Bangalored now... better start looking (or should I say dreaming) for a new job now!!!

16. What’s your favorite magazine?

I prefer blogs

17. If you had $100 now, what would you spend it on?

Well.. may be a new graphics card for my PC... awww.. I think I need a new PC only

18. What do you consider a fashion faux pas?

Rakhi Sawant in anything... oh except when embalmed as a MUMMY (the Egyptian one not the one in the latest reality show)

19. Who according to you is the most over-rated style icon?

Tell me one style icon who isn't over-rated

20. What kind of haircut do you prefer?

Anything that leaves hair on my head

21. What are you going to do after this?

Lunch

22. What are your favourite movies?

Shawshank Redemption,  Scarface, Transformers (loved Megan Fox running alongside Bumblebee)

Pirates of the Carribean... actually anything with Johnny Depp.. even Charlie and the Chocolate Factory... Depp rules

23. What are three cosmetic/makeup/perfume products that you can't live without?

Deo...deo... and deo... unless you include soap, hand wash and toothpaste in the list

24. What inspires you ?

Breathing... when you breath in you inspire.. when you breath out... you EXPIRE.. so hold that breath

25. Give us three styling tips that always work for you:

Number your clothes.. and then use a Random number generator... great way to mix and match.. especially when you land up with 2 shirts and no pants using the random number generator

Or better still wear whatever you like... whatever you're comfortable in... TIPS are for waiters

26. What do you do when you “have nothing to wear” (even though your closet’s packed)?

"Nothing" suits just fine.. when you're home alone.. else there's always some mall you can raid for another thing to pack into that closet

27. Coffee or tea?

Tea... reminds me of famous words from the movie Working Girl..."Can I get ya anything? Coffee? Tea? Me?"

28. What do you do when you are feeling low or terribly depressed?

I blog... knock that feeling out with a couple of mindless paragraphs.. works everytime

29. What is the meaning of your name?

Shrikant... if he can't then who can!!!

30. Which other blogs do you love visiting?

umm.. thats a difficult question... oh.. i better mention the blog by "the person who tagged me"

31. Favorite Dessert/Sweet?

Gajar ka Halwa

32. Favorite Season ?

Rains... If I'm indoors with a cup of chai.. and some pakodas

33. If I come to your house now, what would u cook for me?

Your bheja if you insist on coming.. or if I'm in a good mood you might get some aloo ki sabzi that looks suspiciously like its come out from a batata wada

34. What is the right way to avoid people who purposefully hurt you?

Just show them a couple of fingers..  they get the message...

35. what are you afraid of the most?.. Nah I don't like this question... I'll replace it with "Should I pass this quiz on to anyone?" and I answer it with a no... anyone wants to take it inspite of that.. be my guest

Speaking of Loneliness

Just read (I'm using this as a past participle and not as an imperative statement though you are free to MISSunderstand is to the best of your knowledge) a post (Story of a lonely heart... ) by a friend... Quite ludicrous it turned out to be... but thinking of lonely, this comes to my mind.. one of my favourite bands.. lets see you guessing without help from Google

Such a lonely day

And it's mine

The most loneliest day in my life

Such a lonely day

Should be banned

It's a day that I can't stand

The most loneliest day of my life

The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day

Shouldn't exist

It's a day that I'll never miss

Such a lonely day

And it's mine

The most loneliest day of my life

And if you go,

I wanna go with you

And if you die,

I wanna die with you

Take your hand and walk away

The most loneliest day of my life

The most loneliest day of my life

The most loneliest day of my life

Such a lonely day

And it's mine

It's a day that I am glad I survived.

Hmmm.. what say?? Kinda weird... but gets the point across!!!

But these days have been singing Mad About the Boy by Sir Noel Coward... but if you listen carefully.. you'll realise that I am humming just one note.. over and over again... Just decided to drop "about the boy"

Number Crunching... mmmm.. Yummy!!

For all those who loved my Story of One, heres another one about numbers.

Just as Einstein observed that time was not an absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that space was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's movement in restaurants.

The first non-absolute number is the number of people for whom the table is reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of people who actually turn up, or to the number of people who subsequently join them after the show/match/party/gig, or to the number of people who leave when they see who else has turned up.

The second non-absolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now known to be one of those most bizarre of mathematical concepts, a recipriversexcluson, a number whose existence can only be defined as being anything other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party will arrive. Recipriversexclusons now play a vital part in many branches of maths, including statistics and accountancy and also form the basic equations used to engineer the Somebody Else's Problem field.

The third and most mysterious piece of non-absoluteness of all lies in the relationship between the number of items on the bill, the cost of each item, the number of people at the table, and what they are each prepared to pay for. (The number of people who have actually brought any money is only a sub-phenomenon in this field.)

The baffling discrepancies which used to occur at this point remained uninvestigated for centuries simply because no one took them seriously. They were at the time put down to such things as politeness, rudeness, meanness, flashness, tiredness, emotionality, or the lateness of the hour, and completely forgotten about on the following morning. They were never tested under laboratory conditions, of course, because they never occurred in laboratories — not in reputable laboratories at least.

And so it was only with the advent of pocket computers that the startling truth became finally apparent, and it was this:

Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. In fact, this fact, factfully holds true for any factful numerical entity happening within the confines of a restaurant anywhere on the face (or any other bodily part you may want to designate) of the universe.

Note: Part or whole of this text may or may not have been adapted from one of the books from Douglas Adam's trilogy in four parts.. depends on whether you read it a space-time continuum extending before the third Newton-Raphson differential of the point of time when this trilogy was published or whether you read it afterwards.

Solar Energy usage on the UPPP

This is just in from Reuters: "Distributed Solar Energy Market to Reach $55 Billion by 2012, Says XYZZ Research" (name withheld without request)

Nah, I'm not going to give a link to this report nor am I going to summarize the report in 10 bullet points (bullet points are so ickky.. look like goat doo.. yuckkk). Go look at the report for yourself.. Google it or whatever you wanna do.

Why am I harping bout this solar energy usage... Cuz its time to PANIC!!! Head for the hills!!!

Scientists sponsored by a certain Crown Prince of a Black Gold country have unearthed a chilling secret... that excess use of solar energy could cause the climate to destabilize and result in massive global freezing.

"As we all know, the energy from the sun pours down from up above the world so high from the sun in the sky and hits the ground and bounces back into the atmosphere making the atmosphere warm and conducive to life in all forms... from the unicellular bodied amoeba to the unicellular brained dimbot by the name of... umm I forgot that idiot's name.. anyways must not have been worth remembering either!!!", said Richard Winston Tobias Esquire Junior, Senior Research Analyst heading this sponsored research. "If you captured that energy, none of it would bounce back into the atmosphere and it would cool down and that might result in  a massive Ice Age and mind you this one's for real and not at all as funny as the 3 movies"

Tobias also added, "Barring a few millionaires buried deep underground with food and resources and a large consignment of thermal underwear, all life from all walks of life would be completely frozen and destroyed by the 4000 years of Ice Age"

Upon release of this startling report, the September futures of certain thermal underwear manufacturers were seen trading at 200% premium at all exchanges across the world. However, certain other scientists working at the Wentbridge Research Laboratory in UK claimed, "Even if we made the entire planet solar dependent we would be capturing such a tiny percentage of sunlight it's not even measurable". The Wentbridge Research Laboratory promptly censored these comments and suspended these scientists for 25 weeks without stipend as the Crown Prince of this Black Gold country has made substantial donations to Wentbridge under a fictitious name.

Meanwhile, in a move to cash out on the chaos caused by this report, Rupert Frankon of the Celibate Group, has announced creation of a Rupert Frankon Salvation fund to protect certain elligible important people like himself from this impending disaster subsequent to the use of excessive solar energy. Here are a few excerpts from his interview (or should I call it sales pitch)

Do yourself a favor and pick up your telephone, call now. 2-977-8-UNDIES. What better place to witness 4000 years of winter, then from the comfort of your very own thermal shelter with your own thermal underwear with classic red CELIBATE logo around the crotch. Donate generously and donate now. When we raise 25 million we will build a 50 story tall likeness of me. If we raise 300 million the statue will rotate so I can look over this great city and cast an evil eye on degenerates.and when the eminent Ice Age occurs, those who put faith into action with sufficient generous contributions will join me Rupert Frankon in the Rupert Frankon Salvation statue for a wonderful 4000 years of partying in branded thermal underwear.. other clothes strictly optional!!! Pick up your telephone, call now. 2-977-8-UNDIES.

On a lighter note, here's another disadvantage that these researchers seem to have overlooked... Imagine every home fitted with solar panels on their roofs. Solar panels are ugly... so people don't like to look at them... Because everyone has them on their roofs, people will hardly get our of their houses to walk around... because they won't walk around, they will get Obese and Unhealthy... So solar energy is harmful to our health!!!

This concludes another edition of Retro-thinking!!!

Random Ramblings about Questions Galore

Am waiting for a friend's post on some sort of questions - like the omniscient I am, I am privy to what's going to be posted but I refuse to say that the post pertains to questions for all bloggers... so as to say for internet users in general. I would also like to say that I can't keep my silence.. but relax good friend (one who's going to do that post and anyone else who wants to be considered esteemed friend of the Great Your's Truly) I ain't going to tell anything bout the questions you going to post. (Upon hearing this, the great esteemed friend of the Great Your's Truly smiled slowly... slowly not to show mystique.. but just trying to remember the correct sequence of muscle movements :D

So, before I got into this unassuming discussion (whatever that means) about human muscular movements, I was going to talk about.. or rather not talk about the post on questions by this esteemed friend of the Great Your's Truly!!!

But not talking bout those questions, let me speak about some other questions. Here's a nice excerpt from The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy

"Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir?" he squaled.

The Captain peered at him in bemusement.

"Why on Golgafrincham should I want to do that?" he asked.

"To get information out of them, sir! To find out why they came here!"

"Oh no, no, no," said the Captain. "I expect they just dropped in for a quick jynnan tonnyx, don't you?"

"But they're my prisoners! I must interrogate them!"

The Captain looked at them doubtfully.

"Oh all right," he said, "if you must. Ask them what they want to drink."

A hard cold gleam came into Number Two's eyes. He advanced slowly on Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent.

"All right, you scum," he growled, "you vermin..." He jabbed Ford with the Kill-O-Zap gun.

"Steady on, Number Two," admonished the Captain gently.

"What do you want to drink?!!" Number Two screamed.

"Well the jynnan tonnyx sounds very nice to me," said Ford. "What about you, Arthur?"

Arthur blinked.

"What? Oh, er, yes," he said.

"With ice or without?!" bellowed Number Two.

Oh, with, please," said Ford.

"Lemon??!!"

"Yes, please," said Ford, "and do you have any of those little biscuits? You know, the cheesey ones?"

"I'm asking the questions!!!!" howled Number Two, his body shaking with apoplectic fury.

Speaking of Questions.. the word.. it begins with a Q..  Nah i aint talking about the Q from James bond movies.. but the alphabet Q.. the one we learned about in nursery REMEMBER!!! 

Here's a nice little story from another book from the Hitchikers trilogy in four parts (from Restaurant at the End of the Universe)

He picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant privet bush where it hit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled off in terror and didn't stop till it was set upon and eaten by a fox which choked on one of its bones and died on the bank of a stream which subsequently washed it away.

During the following weeks Ford Prefect swallowed his pride and struck up a relationship with a girl who had been a personnel officer on Golgafrincham, and he was terribly upset when she suddenly passed away as a result of drinking water from a pool that had been polluted by the body of a dead fox. The only moral it is possible to draw from this story is that one should never throw the letter Q into a privet bush.

More on questions??

Remember Andaz Apna Apna.. one of the dialogues

Uncle k Sawaal.. mere jawaab... uncle ka ek sawaal.. mere do do jawaab... sawaal jawaab... sawaal jawaab... sawaal jawaab.. firrr.. LAMBI KHAMOSHI!!!

For a moment nothing happened.. and for a second or so... nothing continued to happen (Quoting another quotable quote from the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy)

I want to answer another question that my end up in the comments section.

Now you know where I draw my inspiration for writing the mindless crap comes from... From this best selling Trilogy in four parts.. the Hitchhikers trilogy!!!

Redesigning

Here's another one of those WONDERFUL "chutkulas" from Sarabhai vs Sarabhai... 

Once the Sarabhais are trying to resurrect the "Aatma" of Indravadhan's Mother.. so that they can find out where she had hidden the owndership deed of the house... so besides all the "ek-pe-ek-free" antics of Monisha, they get a modern "Ojha" (a friend of Sonia's) who tries to "call" the said Aatma into Monisha's body with the chant "hamagra meymay gyaadha"

Sahil's reply to that: Hum Agra May mein nahin Feb mein GYAADHA

Joke's apart - coming to the main issue to be addressed in this post

Just wanted to show-off my awards a bit better.. so had been cooking up a script so that each one of them would pop out and show off in full glory.. Do write in and tell me how it looks? Hint: try clicking on the top left hand corner of each award to make it come alive :D

Or did the earlier Awards shelf look better?? For your reference its there below the subscribe widget on the right sidebar

The Humane Award

The Humane Award is to honour certain respected bloggers (Ahem ahem) who - according to fellow bloggers - are kindhearted individuals... and guess what!!! I have been given this award by my friend Neha

Before going on to the huge list of Thank you's, there is a far more important thing to do. Tradition says that this award has to be passed on by the Awardee to 5 other such deserving candidates and also the Awardee has to link back to the Awarder. I think I, the awardee, have linked back to Neha, the awarder, in the earlier paragraph... but there might be a cross connection so as to say in telecom terminology... or may be not.. who cares!!!

Coming back to my 5 nominations (it had been really difficult to let this award pass.. but I have to let it go so that it goes wherever it wants to be gone... like Gone with the BROKEN Wind )

1. Neha herself for having kind-heartedly awarded my this award
2. Neha again for having kind-heartedly read through all of my posts and bearing with my incessant CRAP
3. Neha once more for kind-heartedly (umm.. cant think of anything..) having awarded my this award
4. I-Me-Myself (have to be conceited enough to live up to the other award that I have received ) for kind-heartedly having accepted the award which Neha had been so kindhearted in awarding to me
5. I-Me-Myself for having kind-heartedly passed on the award as per its tradition to 5 other nominees

Finally I would like to kind-heartedly thank that wonderful kind-hearted friend Neha (please click on this link its the original link) who kind-heartedly took out time to present this kind-hearted award. THANK YOU

Epilogue

Damn I have created so many links and cross links on this post that I will be able to extract a super strong cross-linking polymer exactly 15 years 3 months and 6 days from today provided all other things including Einsteinian Equilibrium between Space and Time remained concurrent with the secondary inverse Laplace transform of Bernoulli's Bouyancy equation partially intergrated along with Galerkin weighted residuals of Euler's laminar flow equations.

I am extremely sorry for breaking this chain of presenting this Award but as I had promised to a famous Neanderthal thinker by the name of Ooh-ooh-aah-aah, I shall not pass on anything to anyone if its been passed on and on... like for instance chain mails like the ones claiming to earn your free Ericsson T18 and R320  Laptops (which infact are long gone discontinued cell phone models... infact our very own Mr. Ooh-ooh-aah-aah did own one of them in his early days when he used to travel to university on his favourite Scooto-saur)

This is the perfect demonstration of greatness... even a blogpost has its own Epilogue... all Hail the Hedonist!!

Off the beaten track - Part 2

Bringing to you another one of those WONDERFUL beaches from Maharashtra. Pure white sands... pristine blue water... straight out of a fairy tale..

And ofcourse... Teenie Meenie Crabs







Ohh I forgot... and here's me!!! Nah.. not straight out of a fairy tale... but definitely in Heaven!!!
Awwww... I'm getting forgetful... forgot to mention the name of this haven... its called Khavane