Washington DC – The Congress today announced that the office of the President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India wef March 1, 2009. The move is being made in response to tremendous amounts of pressure from the business lobby opposing President-elect, Barrack Obama’s anti-outsourcing views and plan of action. Further this decision also aims at saving the President’s $700,000 yearly salary, and also a record $672 billion in expenditures that the presidential office has incurred in the past 4 years. It is anticipated $300 billion can be saved by the end of the next 4-year “outsourced” presidential term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated an unnamed Congressman. "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," the Congressman noted.
Mr. Obama was informed by e-mail about this decision asking him to prepare a knowledge transition (KT) plan (as it is known in the outsourcing circles) to train the incoming outsourced (what an oxymoron!!) president about the various duties to be performed. Mr. Obama has also been asked to stay on board in an advisory capacity.
It is also planned to use the knowledge banks at Iron Mountain Inc (NYSE: IRM), which contain the brain maps of previous 6 presidents, to create a script tree which will enable the Outsourced Prez to respond effectively to most topics of concern without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson." The earlier President has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."
On being asked about the possible vendors that the Congress would be looking at for this project, the spokesperson remarked, “We are not very clear on the attributes that we would be requiring of the person who would be responsible for dispensing the presidential duties. So we are planning to invite a few Indian companies to do a Requirements Gathering exercise and propose a suitable model. Currently we may be satisfied with a 8x5 model for service but in the coming years we would definitely want to expand the scope of services to a 24x7 model.”
Mr. Obama remained tight-lipped when asked about his future plans, but it is dead clear that like the earlier president, he too will have problems securing a new job due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.
Mr. Obama was informed by e-mail about this decision asking him to prepare a knowledge transition (KT) plan (as it is known in the outsourcing circles) to train the incoming outsourced (what an oxymoron!!) president about the various duties to be performed. Mr. Obama has also been asked to stay on board in an advisory capacity.
It is also planned to use the knowledge banks at Iron Mountain Inc (NYSE: IRM), which contain the brain maps of previous 6 presidents, to create a script tree which will enable the Outsourced Prez to respond effectively to most topics of concern without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson." The earlier President has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."
On being asked about the possible vendors that the Congress would be looking at for this project, the spokesperson remarked, “We are not very clear on the attributes that we would be requiring of the person who would be responsible for dispensing the presidential duties. So we are planning to invite a few Indian companies to do a Requirements Gathering exercise and propose a suitable model. Currently we may be satisfied with a 8x5 model for service but in the coming years we would definitely want to expand the scope of services to a 24x7 model.”
Mr. Obama remained tight-lipped when asked about his future plans, but it is dead clear that like the earlier president, he too will have problems securing a new job due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.
Disclaimer: This article is the result of a great deal of research (read aimless googling and CTRL C – CTRL V) and is written in good jest with no intent of ridiculing the mentioned parties.
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