Who let the dogs out??

HUH!!! What's that?? What do I mean by that?

Listen to this.. I mean read this.. hee hee

Keh de tu haan to zindagii

CHAIN (read leash) se chhoot k hasegi

MOTI (common doggie name) honge MOTI raho mein

BOW WOW WOW WOW....

Love songs Doggie Style

Wonder what they're going to think up next!!!

Probably a romantic comedy featuring pets of famous politicians.. but kahani mein twist... dog meets cat.. falls in love.. run around bushes singing above song... cut 2... flash back... cat previously engaged to elephant but groom rejected kyunki "Ladke k daat dikhte hain" (purana PJ)... flash forward... elephant returns as a psycho.. haunts cat and dog... then the evident fight scene between hero (dog) and villain(elephant).. dog beaten badly.. but the THODI MEETHI THODI CATTY calls of his babe rejuvinate him and he manages to tie the elephant's trunk in a knot and the elephant suffocates to death... all seems to be heading to a happy ending.. but the kahani mein naya twist... elephant returns again.. this time as a ghost... haunts cat and dog... Now what... Enter GHOST BUSTERS.. try to whisk away elephant.. get cat and dog by mistake.. but picture already 3 hours long.. most time wasted in showing elephant ki chaal, with a 15 min uncut shot showing the villain's backside as he walked.. walked.. walked.. u get the point...

Anyway, cat and dog live happily ever after wherever the Ghost Busters put them.. with elephant free to haunt anyone he likes.. so he happy.. so he too lived Heavily...oops happily ever after

Guaranteed O-Sucker Award for this story!!!

Damn this could have beed a separate post... somebody hit CTRL Z!!!!

Obama SWEARS at Swearing-in Ceremony

Nah nothing controversial about that... you're supposed to swear at the swearing in ceremony, aren’t you?? 

Or let's just re-phrase it... Get sworn-in... Better??

Or in still other words, "Take the oath that you'll do whatever's expected of you as the President".

I would like to take this opportune opportunity to opportunely congratulate the Prez on this occasion. Truly, $150 million or so (allegedly) "Well Spent". 

Let’s see what the future has in store for this Prez. I would have loved to predict a number of highly or not so highly disastrous events that the future held in store for Mr. Prez, but lately I have given up looking into the future, the prime reason for this being that fact (as rightly pointed out by Calvin or Hobbes.. not too very sure about that fact...but the fact stands true that one of them said it) that "The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present."

So I am like, might as well think about the present that dabble into the strange weird tentacles of future.

So as Mr. Prez said in his inauguration speech, "We shall rise..." (Not exactly his precise words.. but somewhat around that idea), the market added, "...but not right now" with the Dow Jones falling to sub 8000 levels and the NASDAQ and others following suit, bleeding heavily.

Wonder what good old Dubya man is up to these days. Ducking out of the way of publicity as usual??

Another Weapon of Mass Destruction

In a revolutionary statement, the banana terrorist republic of Kyanzeey announced that its military has succeeded in creating the world's first Eco-Friendly Weapon of Mass Destruction.
This technology, experts claim, can be used in place of conventional warheads or with RPGs and only destroys human life leaving animals and plants untouched and unscathed.

The weapon codenamed "Uncle-of-all-weapons" (UOAW) works by emitting a psychologically/metaphysically modified bio-toxin, derived from over-ripe half-rotten bananas, that will only bind with neuro-receptors on human brains. Once the binding is complete, the toxin stimulates the release of special chemicals which accelerate the ageing of humans by 5706.3957 times so that every person in all probability dies in approximately 39.56874 minutes of coming in contact with the toxin. The ageing process is governed by the a variation of a immensely complex process known as the Simplified Protocol for Accelerated Ageing (a.k.a. 10-degree rule) which was itself developed around the collision theory based Arrhenius Model.

"We consider this a major breakthrough toward becoming a terrorist republic that truly cares about the environment", said Von Claus, Secretary of Interstate Offensive affairs under condition of anonymity.

Talking about the fallout issues, Claus claimed that the toxin would only remain airborne for about 3 days before it became inert, settled into the Earth as a rich phosphate compound similar to Urea thereby acting as a good fertilizer.

"After our UOAW has succeeded in killing all the people, we will send our soldiers in to do the gardening, feed the pets and take care of the homes", claus said in a reassuring tone. "Consider it like a peaceful death without worries about your favourite chrysanthemum or your mother-in-law's pooch", said Claus.

However, certain bureaucrats from the Untied Stepz of ICKa have cautioned Kyanzeey against the production of these weapons stating, "Only the Untied Stepz can be trusted with weapons of mass destruction such as this".

Meanwhile trusted sources from the Taliban militia have claimed that they have conceptualised further development of this ecologically correct bomb to make it politically correct. "Our weapons will be tailor made to kill Americans only", said the source.

Disclaimer: This article is the result of a great deal of research (read aimless googling and CTRL C – CTRL V) and is written in good jest with no intent of ridiculing the mentioned parties.

More New Year Resolutions... Oops Bloggers Block

Hobbes: "How are you doing on your New Year's resolutions?"

Calvin: "I didn't make any. See, in order to improve oneself, one must have some idea of what's 'good.' That implies certain values. But as we all know, values are relative. Every system of belief is equally valid and we need to tolerate diversity. Virtue isn't 'better' than vice. It's just different."

Hobbes: "I don't know if I can tolerate that much tolerance."

Calvin: "I refuse to be victimized by notions of virtuous behavior."

(c) Bill Waterson

Was going to write another piece related to New Year resolutions, but then after such an original opening (I did't say it was my original :D) I was like.. What next??

Am suffering from a mild case of Bloggers Block. Can't think of what to write about next.

I suppose all of us bloggers suffer from this kind of a rough patch at times. And quite a few of this species becomes all hot and bothered about the fact that their assembly line of blogposts doesnt seem to be functioning as expected. Some people even go through extended periods of depression when they're not able to think of bloggable ideas.

Hitherto i propose a solution to all those tense moments.. this solution is absolutely simple.. just a four step process...

Take a deep breath

Say Ommmmmmmmmmmmm

No No No No... thats not the way to do it (thats someone else's way to motivate himself to concentrate on Cost Accounting problems.. but thats another story altogether). The real technique is like this:

1. Take a deep breath
   
2. Say C O N T R O L...C
   
3. Another deep breath
   
4. Say C O N T R O L...V
   

Thats it... go ahead with this and you'll be able to reel of blogs like Henry Ford made T-Models (not sure if I got my facts correct.. but what the heck.. I don't care).

On a parting note, I have heard of a new breed of CONsultants (refer blogpost for definition) known as CnP (copy and paste) consultants rising fast amongst the hierarchies of organisations around the world who are using this technique to create mind blowing, revolutionary literature thats earning them kudos and millions of Euro-Dollars (term coined by someone else during a certain presentation at the BSE rotunda). The point I'm trying to make... Don't get left Behind

P.S. The guy trying to motivate himself in Cost Accounting ultimately ended up proving that TIME wasn't a continuum but a Random Repetition of Moments... just for your knowledge so you dont go on pestering me for a 76 page report on that statement

New Year Musings

Lotsa people asking each other about how 2008 has been... 

Don't ask me... Life looks at me, grins odiously and sings:

So no one told you life was gonna be this way

Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.

It's like you're always stuck in second gear

And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month,or even your year

But anyways (i think thats the right syntax.. it DOES NOT MATTER if its wrong) here's a wonderful New Year wish that I got...

As the curtains come down for 2008, let us pause for a while to take stock of what has been a year of events – some pleasant and some less so, and in the process many a paradigm has been changed.

 

I believe that we need to take the initiative in the coming weeks to put our business back into perspective – XYZ is a great company with a true potential to take advantage of opportunities that will open during the next 18 months. We have a good strategy and we are blessed with good associates.  We have been distracted in recent weeks with noise that has taken the market’s focus from the things that are truly important – and that is how XYZ adds value to our clients’ business. 

 

Can anybody tell me what the last line means?? Distracted by noise.. way to add value... CONFUSING

Hey forgot about New Year resolutions... an interesting bit on Wikipedia about New Year Resolutions...

Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, (when their significant/insignificant others let them contribute to making the new year resolution), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends (bragged about it and were nagged about it.. sounds poetic..oooooo)

Happy New Year... May all your troubles last as long as your resolutions lol...