Another Weapon of Mass Destruction

In a revolutionary statement, the banana terrorist republic of Kyanzeey announced that its military has succeeded in creating the world's first Eco-Friendly Weapon of Mass Destruction.
This technology, experts claim, can be used in place of conventional warheads or with RPGs and only destroys human life leaving animals and plants untouched and unscathed.

The weapon codenamed "Uncle-of-all-weapons" (UOAW) works by emitting a psychologically/metaphysically modified bio-toxin, derived from over-ripe half-rotten bananas, that will only bind with neuro-receptors on human brains. Once the binding is complete, the toxin stimulates the release of special chemicals which accelerate the ageing of humans by 5706.3957 times so that every person in all probability dies in approximately 39.56874 minutes of coming in contact with the toxin. The ageing process is governed by the a variation of a immensely complex process known as the Simplified Protocol for Accelerated Ageing (a.k.a. 10-degree rule) which was itself developed around the collision theory based Arrhenius Model.

"We consider this a major breakthrough toward becoming a terrorist republic that truly cares about the environment", said Von Claus, Secretary of Interstate Offensive affairs under condition of anonymity.

Talking about the fallout issues, Claus claimed that the toxin would only remain airborne for about 3 days before it became inert, settled into the Earth as a rich phosphate compound similar to Urea thereby acting as a good fertilizer.

"After our UOAW has succeeded in killing all the people, we will send our soldiers in to do the gardening, feed the pets and take care of the homes", claus said in a reassuring tone. "Consider it like a peaceful death without worries about your favourite chrysanthemum or your mother-in-law's pooch", said Claus.

However, certain bureaucrats from the Untied Stepz of ICKa have cautioned Kyanzeey against the production of these weapons stating, "Only the Untied Stepz can be trusted with weapons of mass destruction such as this".

Meanwhile trusted sources from the Taliban militia have claimed that they have conceptualised further development of this ecologically correct bomb to make it politically correct. "Our weapons will be tailor made to kill Americans only", said the source.

Disclaimer: This article is the result of a great deal of research (read aimless googling and CTRL C – CTRL V) and is written in good jest with no intent of ridiculing the mentioned parties.