Wishing You A Merry Christmas

Reposting last year's Christmas special post!!
Jingle Balle.. Jingle Balle... Oh Balle Balle



Merry Christmas to everyone!!!

WWW.WEIRD.PPL

Jahanpanah yeh dono aapki shaan ke khilaaf bol rahe hain.
Gustaakh.. inn dono ko deewar mein chunva do
Jahanpanaah aapki majority agar kheech lihi jaye
toh fir aapko Jahan se panaah kaun dega

Discussion found on a popular chat channel. When the author jumps in with some Naan-Sense of his own, one of the dainty things there exclaims: Why am I wasting time with these nonsense people. I did not expect such nonsense from you, Hedonist?

I would like to confer the Naan-Sense award to this dainty little thing for being an excellent gourment of all things Naan-Sense!!

Well before I move ahead with more Naan-Sense.. Let me just scratch my big toe on my right foot cuz it itches.. Moja hi moja!!

What would you say if your painstakingly "researched" and really well written blog was critiqued as:
"I dont like those black flowers in the background.. they hamper my eyesight... when you write in blue bold italics with comic sans serif, it really brings out the things that you write about"

Duh, I'll go back to scratching my big toe than get these kind of reviews man.

Ohh!! And certain pseudo-intellectual neo-political thinkers fail to faintly remember infamous wisecrack like "Bade bade shehron mein aisee choti choti baatein hoti rehti hain" and then also absolutely forget superhit songs in their own language.

And then there are people who claim... I only comment on blogs when and where I can add value to the content of the blog.. and then they comment "OMG.. Arre baap re..Is it Dhanno or Basanti??"

Value added services with added Nuisance Value!!

Thats what they call www.weird.ppl

A Romantic Holiday

A certain female contestant in  a certain gameshow wanted to go to Venice with her dream-man (whatever that's supposed to mean... Reminds me of the old advertisement "Dreaming bout me" but that kinda person in his starkers wud not be fit to take out of the house let alone to Venice)

Upon being asked Why Venice.. she said that there is a lot of water there and any place that has a lot of water is supposed to be really romantic. Urrggh!!

So how bout sending this blessed lady on a 4 night and 5 day trip to any water treatment plant around the country for the ultimate romantic experience.

 



Speaking of waste.. here's the ultimate waste disposal tool for the ultimate HP fan!!!

PS: The pot rumoured to be straight out of the good author's loo.. apparently her thinking pot where she's rumoured to have thought about the sequel to the 7 book series.

What do I do?

Yeah!! thats right... What do I do??

Sufferring from Writers' Block all of a sudden!!!

So how bout being "POWERED BY CTRL C - DRIVEN BY CTRL V"
(No hard feelings to certain elite class wordpress users with professional advice to throw around)

Hmm.. So here goes!!

Suno gaur se Pepsi walo. Buri nazar na Coke pe dalo,

Chahe jitna Dew pila lo, Sabse aage hoga

Nimbu Pani... Nimbu Pani... Nimbu Pani... Nimbu Pani...

Humne Piya hai... Tum Bhi Piyo
Humne Piya hai jo... Tum Bhi Piyo!!!

Oh.. yeah this is just in.. an excellent parody of "Gotta keep em Separated - The Offspring"

You gotta keep on litigatin'

With the jury selected

And our client appeased

We keep on laughin' all the way to the courtroom

Winning lawsuits with the greatest of ease

You may find yourself set up to fall

And if they catch you call on "Wynn, Lockehart, and Dahl"

If one guy's stories and the other's don't mix

We're gonna find 'em out

Hey man know how you're gonna plead?

Testify

We gotta keep on litigatin'

Hey man can we discuss our fee?

Plead the Fifth

We gotta keep on litigatin'

Hey they don't pay no fine

If we're really crafty you won't be serving any time

Hey, it's Judgement Day!

By the time your hearing started

We were long on the case

Try so hard to keep you from going to jail

Just don't mention that you like to freebase

But if we get a judge as mean as a troll

No one's getting pardoned

No one's getting paroled

You've over twenty counts of death and violence and rape

Might as well tie your own rope

Hey man know how you're gonna plead?

Testify

We gotta keep on litigatin'

Hey man can we discuss our fee?

Plead the Fifth

We gotta keep on litigatin'

And finishing off with a line from Get Over It- Eagles

The more I think about it, Old Billy was right

Let's kill all the lawyers, kill 'em tonight

PS: To all lawyers... No Hard Feeings :P

I Celebrate Myself

c3l3br4t3:		Tum aaye toh... Hawaaon mein... Ek nashaa...
		Tum aaye toh... Fizaaon mein... Rang sa hai...
		Yeh rang saare... Hain bass tumhare...
		Aur kya... aur kya... aur kya...
k8key:		Stop flirting!!
c3l3br4t3:		Its not everyday I get to talk to such pretty ladies ;)
k8key:		hmmmm
c3l3br4t3:		So... been a really long time since we spoke last... Hows u??
k8key:		I'm good... how bout u?
c3l3br4t3:		Couldn't be better!! So good that I feel like singing...
		Dheere dheere se meri zindagi mein aana..
		Dheere dheere se dilko churana..
		Tumse pyaar hame hai kitna jaan-e-jaana..
		Tumse milkar tumko hai batana!!
k8key:		Stop it will you.. I am in no mood for all this
c3l3br4t3:		Arre.. kya hua? Didn't you like my songs??
k8key:		No yaar its not like that.. Just that I am not feeling up to it.
c3l3br4t3:		Bol na.. whats wrong?
k8key:		Life sucks.. thats what is wrong!!
c3l3br4t3:		And then Life says,"The feelings mutual babe" :P
k8key:		Ha ha ha.. very funny.. but you wont be so jovial if you were in my place
c3l3br4t3:		Sorry.. ab bolo bhi
k8key:		Arre kya bataoon.. nothing is going right in my life god knows what I was thinking when I took this job... pehle toh in this far off place.. away from friends and family and then they make me work like crazy.. Arre P1 issues aise paida karte hain as if its their birth right
c3l3br4t3:		P1 kya??
k8key:		Priority 1... Show stopping error.. have to slog until its gets resolved
c3l3br4t3:		O ok.. but thats part and parcel of work na.. uska kya karein
k8key:		Haan re.. but kya karoon.. cant concentrate on the work na.. Mom had called up.. and we fought... since then I've been really disturbed
c3l3br4t3:		Why did ya'll fight??
k8key:		kuch nahi re.. the usual... she says I dont have time for family and all and that I should look for something new closer to home
c3l3br4t3:		Arre toh thats right na.. even you wanted a shift na.. back home??
k8key:		Yeah.. but I'm beginning to like this freedom also don't have to keep updating Mom when I'm late.. can just lie that I'm already home
c3l3br4t3:		You cant have everything na
k8key:		Tru.. and now I'm feeling bad.. cuz I spoke to Mom harshly, I told her to stop blackmailing me emotionally... brb
-----------------------------------------------------
k8key:		Sorry.. got a call
c3l3br4t3:		Chal jhoothi... I can hear tears flowing
k8key:		:)
c3l3br4t3:		Stop it yaar.. no use crying like this.. Just call up Mom and say sorry
k8key:		I know.. will call her in the morning
c3l3br4t3:		hmmm.. Moms are always understanding.. she will forgive you
k8key:		But will someone else be as understanding??
c3l3br4t3:		who someone else??
k8key:		Someone.. because of whom this one is unhappy.. just because  that one is ignoring this one
c3l3br4t3:		Who are you talking about? And if someone ignores you, just let go. No use moping bout it. Only you'll be losing sleep over it, while the other person is carefree. So its you who lose both ways. If the other person values your friendship then he/she will come back. Else.. good riddance!!!
k8key:		Arre chod na.. I keep getting these madness fits all the time you say.. whats new in your life.. still doing usability testing of games in old job??
c3l3br4t3:		hahahaha you remember that??
k8key:		Ofcourse.. You loved your job didn't you? Oh I wish I could be like you
c3l3br4t3:		Dont even think bout it.. The truth is.. I've been laid off.. thanks to recession, no new projects.. and old ones going away.. So company cant afford me
k8key:		Oh.. I'm so sorry.. I didnt know you were laid off
c3l3br4t3:		arre chillax babe... bade bade logon k saath choti choti baatein hoti rehti hain
k8key:		toh.. what else? Hows everyone at home?
c3l3br4t3:		Theek thaak
k8key:		what do u mean theek thaak?? You usually said "ekdum massst"
c3l3br4t3:		arre kuch nahi yaar.. Just came to know that Dad recently got a rare nerve disorder because of which he can see only with the right halves of both eyes
k8key:		Dude I dont understand... You are going thru so much and still you can be so jovial!!
c3l3br4t3:		Cuz I live for the moment... I met you right now.. So am happy bout it... I'm celebrating it.. I consider every moment of life as a festival.. I celebrate it.. and most of all... I celebrate Myself

This post was published in N-Zine - October 2010 Issue

What's in a Name!!

Few days back had been discussing Shakespeare on a popular forum for IndiBloggers (name witheld for security reasons)...

Whats there in definition... Rose by any other name wud smell the name.. or for that matter even a Fart!!!

So one friend replies...

@shree..... shit man..... anyones bum never called as rose!!

BUM = ROSE.. what a concept

So here's Seal singing Kiss from a Rose to this thought!!!

There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.

You became the light on the dark side of me.

But did you know,

That when it snows,

My eyes become large and

The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby,

I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.

Ooh,

The more I get of you,

The stranger it feels, yeah.

And now that your rose is in bloom.

A light hits the gloom on the gray.

There is so much a man can tell you,

So much he can say.

You remain,

My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby

To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.

Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?

Speaking of ROSE... reminds me of Ms. Rose from Titanic.. standing on the prow of the Titanic while Celine Dion sings "My Heart Will Go On.. Forever"

Now just replace Heart will Fart..in the entire song... and this gives the song an really interesting TWIST!!!